Here goes my 3rd day with less than 5 hrs of sleep and i should at least try sleeping for the tasks of tomorrow but here i am in the middle of the night (early morning,however you choose to look at it) in front of my laptop pouring it out onto the keyboard....
I'm writing this today because thoughts of you have been bothering me for quite a while now....Why? because i truly care for you, for us.
i always tried to explain to you how much you mean to me, I was a completely different person before we met and you've shown me that its okay to be who i am , and that people who really love me wont think any less of me despite of whatever it is....
the friendship we have is the kind that only comes once in a lifetime, not every time everything seems to just set in like the pieces of the puzzle for things to go on....
you were my friend when not many were. You saw me when not many people saw me. You gave me hope and confidence; that's what keeps me going and you might not know but you're the reason behind a lot of triumphs and smiles.
it feels so weird to live one way all this while and then suddenly changing it to the next;and some changes tend to kill me on the inside.
I've always admired you for the kindness in your heart and the braveness in your soul, for that glistening confidence in your eyes and the stern boldness in your voice.
eventually people come to a point where they understand the art of liking/loving something beautiful which is to simply ADMIRE whatever it is for its beauty instead of liking it or loving it...let it be a piece of art or a piece of composed music or a work of craft or people ; Admiration is forever....and a reason to why I'm writing this is because I ADMIRE YOU.
I Admire you not for who you are to yourself but for what you are to others.
It terrifies me to know that it is always possible to find someone else as time passes by, to be left without nothing but memories of the laughter; the moments of little celebrations over a packet of water and random snack along the corner of the road;those moments when our eyes lit up with joy and laughter at the simplest of jokes;the moments where i knew exactly whom to call when something crazy happened; and those other moments hunting for new places and trying to score them all , running around the streets at the middle of the night searching after that one last bus heading home and all the other memories that now stands like tip of a blade which cannot be touched without drawing blood.
I know we've been having some pretty rough times. Sometimes things got way over the head. Some times we said things we don't mean. And had to come to a point where it felt like the ever burning flame chose to flicker and fade away; like the special spark was gone and now it feels like a match stick without phosphorous at its end and not matter how much you try the flame just wont come back on. there were days when i almost convinced myself all is well and that someday our friendship will be back. Some days i spend going through the endless photos we've taken. Some days i laugh at our memories without drawing out tears. But today is not that day. Today i wish we had it all back like it used to be before....with endless smiles and laughter with no worries or fear
Your friendship means more that anything else ever has and i would be completely lost without it and there's not another person who could take your place in my life.
I understand that you need time to forget the things that happened but time also leads to moving on and AWAY simultaneously and i don't want to be the one who let you walk away. maybe instead of giving it nothing but time to heal why cant we just laugh over the things we said and take things back up again from where everything seemed to go haywire.
I really wish i could manipulate your mind or maybe hypnotise you and make you forget of all the things that went wrong but there's only so much i could do to try to make you understand that things could be back and better and the rest is on your side to make up your mind. And that doesn't mean i would stop trying as well.
Once in your life you make the friends that are true
Nothing else matters except what's between them and you
You don't know if anyone has ever before felt this way
For them you breathed, you wanted to be alive every day
You'd put up with anything if it meant you got to see each of their faces
Nothing else matters except what's between them and you
You don't know if anyone has ever before felt this way
For them you breathed, you wanted to be alive every day
You'd put up with anything if it meant you got to see each of their faces
-Jessica E Villa
you asked me why i still try to hold on and why i cant just let go of you...
...tell me why should i when i see every bit of reason to hold on
Just because its dark at night it doesn't mean the sun isn't gonna shine again the next morning...
yours truly
BEST FRIEND
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