As the clock hits 12 at midnight here i was sitting in that dark corner at cafe coffee day with a juice singing along to roar by Katy Perry and listening to a bunch of friends laugh and have fun only wishing that could have been us.....I start this article.....
My answer (I think) to that question that pops up in everyone's mind......
Its so damn hard to get over someone you trusted so much in life because when they come into your life they come in as the one being so easy to love and when they tend to leave you they leave away as two letting you suffer the pain of getting over both.
just because trust was broken does it mean you have to be that ill mouthed person speaking crap about the other to everyone ? does that mean you have to tell the others to ignore them ?
My answer (I think) to that question that pops up in everyone's mind......
Why is it so hard to get over someone even though they treated you like you didn't even exist !
one is the person that let you down and took all the trust in you and threw it in the trash. the one that used you. The person easy to get mad at....the person whom letting go off is like an everyday task....whom you can go ahead without looking at for the rest of your life.The one you wish you never met.
and the other person is the one you thought they were....the one you always loved and cared about....the one who's still on the inside over layers of pride and hate and guilt not willing to come out....the one you'll always look up for....
its never the one who let me down I think about at 2am in the morning as im speeding across the empty roads but the one who walked by your side when you didn't even want to look into her face.....the one who didn't let you walk alone.....the one who made you smile when you didnt want to wake up to the morning world....
its so hard to get over someone like that because the only person you hate more than them is myself....i hate myself for investing in that 2nd person....i hate myself for trusting them again and again despite all the lies that went by my eyes......for taking up that effort to make things right when the other didn't even give a damn about you.
its so hard to get over them because you're forced to tell yourself you don't love someone whom you once called family.....ashamed not able to move on immediately when the other never had a second thought about you. ashamed because all this makes you feel weak and needy. ashamed because it blinds you from all the people who do care about you.
and the other person is the one you thought they were....the one you always loved and cared about....the one who's still on the inside over layers of pride and hate and guilt not willing to come out....the one you'll always look up for....
its never the one who let me down I think about at 2am in the morning as im speeding across the empty roads but the one who walked by your side when you didn't even want to look into her face.....the one who didn't let you walk alone.....the one who made you smile when you didnt want to wake up to the morning world....
its so hard to get over them because you're forced to tell yourself you don't love someone whom you once called family.....ashamed not able to move on immediately when the other never had a second thought about you. ashamed because all this makes you feel weak and needy. ashamed because it blinds you from all the people who do care about you.
somethings are so hard because something you trusted everything with suddenly turns into betrayal flipping your entire world with it....everything you've longed for.....everything you've looked up on...all that trust and care is suddenly no where to be seen.
its so hard because at the end of the day its yourself you need to forgive. to forgive yourself for the person you became out of that anger. the words that you said out of the frustration....of all the things you blamed them for. even though someone deserves all the question at the end of the day is is this who you really are ?
just because trust was broken does it mean you have to be that ill mouthed person speaking crap about the other to everyone ? does that mean you have to tell the others to ignore them ?
here's my answer , an extract from my mail :
"
I'm sorry you have to be that arrogant stubborn person.....but if I'm gonna be the same as u r then what difference does it gonna make in this world !? Just bcos someone is gonna hate u I'm not gonna hate them....there's enough hate in this world......N this is who I am......I'll keep getting used..... I'll still happily do things fr ppl......and I'm proud f this.....I'm proud I'm not blinded by ego and arrogance....... U knw wht I'm proud of even though unna pathi asingama thittirka to close people.....n when they replied with similar words I stopped them n said u can't say tht....I'm proud even though I said I'll break ur damn face I still said I'll always care bcos ur family..... That's who I am and I'm proud f it......I'm happy I have time for all....I'm happy I don't have to lie to ppl.....I'm happy Im there fr the ones who need me......I'm happy I'm being me instead of being filled with nonsense frm someone else and being controlled fr every move !
"
funny how this article ends as another katy perry song plays along and the lyrics go....
"come just as you are to me
Don't need apologies
Know that you are worthy
I'll take your bad days your good
Walk through the storm I would
I do it all because I love you"
thats a lotta katy perry for the hour....
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